Distracted by worldly things

I have been working way too hard for way too long.

Why?

I think the first layer is because I don't want to let people down.  I care too much about what people think of me.  I want to have a good reputation. I live most of my life pressured by a great sense of duty and obligation. At times, I also worry about making sure I have enough research projects to cover my summer salary so that I can pay the bills.

Yesterday, the sermon was on Martha being distracted while Mary was singularly focused on listening to Jesus.

‭Luke 10:40-42 ESV‬

[40] But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me." 

[41] But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, [42] but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."

The word "distracted" is περισπάω (perispaō, the only appearance in the NT) which means to draw (like drawing a sword out of it's sheath) away.  The word "anxious" is μεριμνάω (merimnaō) which comes from a root word that means to separate into parts or to cut into pieces. The word "troubled" is θορυβάζω (thorybazō) which comes from a root word that means noise.

From my reading this morning:

‭1 Corinthians 7:29-32 ESV‬

[29] This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, [30] and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, [31] and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away. [32] I want you to be free from anxieties. ... 

The truth is that our Father is a good Father, and He will take care of me and my family.  I want to care only what the Father thinks and not worry about what people think of me.

Father, I trust you, and I care what you think.  I want to honor you.  I have been arrogant and distracted.  Please forgive me, and deliver me from my inordinate sense of obligation.  I want to walk in freedom. I love you.

Walking with the Spirit

I tend to think I see the world in monochrome.  And when I feel like I've made a mistake or got burned, I tend to respond with a "That won't ever happen again" rule to protect myself.

But that's just religion.  That isn't walking with the Spirit.

Yesterday, I had my second counseling appointment sonce 2021, and it was really helpful.  The therapist pointed out some behavioral patterns that I can work on; I know it will take a devoted effort, but I have hope that I can be free from trying to earn the approval of others.

Father, I break agreement with rules-based living, and I make agreement with depending on a fresh word from Holy Spirit for every decision.  Jesus, thank you for your example.  I love you.

Simplicity of abiding

Yesterday afternoon in Austin, I had the privilege of meeting with Jeff, an older Brother who was a spiritual mentor when I was a graduate student.  He reminded me of the simplicity of abiding in Christ.  I am meditating on these verses this morning:

‭John 15:4-5, 9 ESV‬

[4] Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. [5] I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 

...

[9] As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. 

I'm trying to just sit still and visualize sitting with the Father with no agenda.  Just enjoying each other's presence.

Father, I love you.  Thank you for making me who I am.  You knit me together in my mother's womb.  I am carefully and wonderfully made.  I am your son.  I am not an orphan or a slave.  My value is independent of my productivity.  I am yours.  You define my value and worth, and Jesus's blood is the price you paid.  Please forgive me of pride and arrogance that I could define my value any other way.  Holy Spirit, please guide me to an accurate perspective of myself and the Father.

Refine my objective function

‭Psalms 38:9 NIV‬

All my longings lie open before you, Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you.

In optimization programming, the objective function is the definition of what  you are trying to either maximize or minimize.  In the Scriptures, the heart, mind, will, and emotions are spoken of as aspects of the soul. 

Father, I want my heart to match your heart; I want to have pure and holy desires, not worldly desires.   I want my mind to think your thoughts, not worldly thoughts.  I want my will to be calibrated to seek your Kingdom and your righteousness, not worldly aspirations.  I am tired of working too hard.  Please refine my objective function.  I want my emotions to match your emotions.  Please recalibrate the programming of my soul.  I love you.

believing ahead

King David wrote Psalm 30 for the dedication of the temple.  His son, Solomon, actually built the temple, and David wasn't there for the dedication.  But David knew it was going to happen.  By faith, he wrote a Psalm so that he could participate in the dedication of the temple.  David's heart was to honor Yahweh by building the temple.

What do I want to do to honor Yaweh that might come to fruition after my lifetime?  How do I invest effort and exercise faith presently to begin something significant for the glory of God and somehow spiritually participate in that future realization?

Father, I love you, and I want to desire to honor you greatly, as King David did.  Help me shift my perspective from surviving to thriving.  Help me focus on you and see your glory, goodness, and love and be overwhelmed in gratitude that leads to a desire to honor you greatly.  I love you.

Jesus healed everyone who came to Him

Matthew 14:14 NIV

When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.

Other passages in the Gospels include the word "all."

We have really enjoyed watching The Chosen series because it generally highlights the compassion and gentleness of Jesus. Admittedly , the series is historical fiction, so a lot of the backstory of the characters is assumed. Unfortunately, by the end of season four, there are two characters who could have been healed by Jesus, but instead, he withholds healing. This is inconsistent with the overall narrative of the Gospels.  

I don't know why sometimes people don't get healed today, but I know that when Jesus was walking around, He healed everyone who came to him and some at a distance.  There is no record in the Gospels of someone coming to Jesus for healing who he did not heal.

Father, I want to be an instrument of healing.  Please heal me, and pour your healing through me into others.  I am a vessel of your presence, compassion, and power.  Jesus, thank you for your example.  Holy Spirit, please guide me.  I love you.

Plunder the strong man

Matt 12:25-29 

25 Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, "Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand. 26 If Satan drives out Satan, he is divided against himself. How then can his kingdom stand? 27 And if I drive out demons by Beelzebul, by whom do your people drive them out? So then, they will be your judges. 28 But if it is by the Spirit of God that I drive out demons, then the kingdom of God has come upon you.

29 Or again, how can anyone enter a strong man's house and carry off his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man? Then he can plunder his house."

The enemy is destined for defeat.  We are destined for maturity and victory.

Father, you have ordained us as children of God, and you have destined us for victory.  We are ambassadors of the Messiah.  Please reach us how to walk in the ways of the Messiah, tying up the strong man and plundering his house, setting captives free and bringing children home to the Father. Jesus, thank you for your example. Holy Spirit, please guide us and train us to walk in your anointing and power.  Help me listen to you.  I love you.