disciplining children

1 Tim 3

1 Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. 2 Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. 5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?)

I used to think that verses 4-5 meant that you need to make sure that your kids stay in line.  I used to think that necessitated rigorous discipline and frequent reminders of consequences, but recently I have learned that the way of Babylon is to threaten pain, and the way of Jesus is to reveal sonship/daughterhood to the Father through the Spirit.  That is not to say that there aren't situations that warrant a reprimand or spanking, but that there is a great deal of work that must be invested for a reprimand or spanking to be effective.  

If I express anger (e.g., raise my voice) at a child for not doing what I want them to, then I've lost perspective on the fundamental reality that the child is not actually mine and that I am a steward to shepherd them to know and love the Father.  If I rush to conclude that the child needs a reprimand or spanking before I have invested the substantial time and effort to explain the truth in love, then I am not temperate, self-controlled, respectable, or gentle, and I am letting the violent way of Babylon sabotage my efforts to lead my child to know and love the Father.  If my children "obey" me out of fear of discipline, then I've actually trained them in the way of Babylon and only accomplished behavior modification, not genuine loving obedience to the Father.

My desire is that my children follow me to the Father because they know that I love them and that the Father loves them.  Discipline is certainly part of love, and I want to exercise discipline in a strategic and measured way, in step with the Spirit, such that my own children respect me for the way that I discipline them.  My methods of discipline should be self-consistent with the intended outcome, which is for them to know and love the Father.

Father, thank you for your sacrificial love for me, and thank you for your great patience with me.  Jesus, thank you for showing us what it looks like to live a life of humble obedience to the Father, and leadership without adopting the way of Babylon.  Holy Spirit, thank you for giving me all of the power that I need to obey the Father and keep in step with you.  Thank you for making me a better parent (i.e., steward, not owner) of my children.  I love you.

The sanctity of work

In 1st and 2nd Thessalonians, Paul explains that people should not be idle.  Perhaps some were assuming that Jesus was going to return any day, so there was no point in working.  Alternatively, people had "jobs" as personal attendants for wealthy people, but down of their work might have been ethically questionable.

Especially in 2 Thess 3, I think Paul is basically saying that even if you knew that Jesus was coming back tomorrow, you should still go to work today because He wants you to be on mission with Him through your work.

I want to reveal the Kingdom of Heaven through my daily work.

Father, thank you for giving me gifts and talents that I can use in my work.  Jesus, thank you for being a carpenter.  Holy Spirit, thank you for your presence and power.  Sanctify my work.  I love you.

Power and Joy

For we know, brothers and sisters loved by God, that he has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not simply with words but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake. You became imitators of us and of the Lord, for you welcomed the message in the midst of severe suffering with the joy given by the Holy Spirit.

1 Thessalonians 1:4‭-‬6 NIV

The announcement of good news (Gospel) came not only with words, but also with power because of the presence of the Holy Spirit.  I feel like such an infant with respect to seeing Him demonstrate His power; I wish I was more mature in partnering with Him to tangibly demonstrate the love of God.

The Holy Spirit gives joy.  I feel like such an infant with respect to allowing Him to demonstrate joy in my life.  I am too distracted by lack of sleep, allergies, and work stress.  I need to focus on His goodness, not my discomfort.

Father, thank you for your patience.  Thank you for your love.  Thank you for sending Jesus to rescue us and adopt us.  Holy Spirit, thank you for your presence, power, and joy.  Please transform me to be more useful to you.  I love you.

Shining light

Last week, I spent several days with research collaborators from Rice, Yale, and Arizona State.  I think I had more spiritual conversations with faculty and students than ever before.  

Father, thank you for these friendships and collaborations, and thank you for the opportunity to shine light in this group.  Holy Spirit, help me be prepared to share the hope and joy that is within me. Jesus, thank you for holding the universe together.  I love you.

Amazing grace

Sharita gave us a journal and a BREATHE card:

• Be Still
• Remember
• Examine
• Apply
• Trust
• Hope
• Expect Experience

My hotel room in Phoenix had a guitar in it, so I thought I would "Be Still" by plucking Amazing Grace.  But the guitar needed to be tuned.  I thought about the metaphor of Being Still as allowing us to be tuned by the Lord.

I sang two stanzas of Amazing grace as I plucked the strings, switching octaves at the high and low points of the song because my voice had not warmed up.  I sang the last stanza acapella even though I was way off key because I really believed that the Lord's pleasure was with my heart, not the technical performance of my voice.

Father, thank you for loving me.  Thank you for freedom to be who I am because Jesus has already measured up.  Your grace is amazing.  I love you.

Hearing the Spirit

When I was in the shower yesterday morning, I thought I heard the Spirit give me an impression that something unexpected was going to come up, and I needed to make time for it.

As I arrived at my office, I got a text message from a former student saying that he had a family situation and wanted my advice.  I called him straight away and spent an hour listening, comforting, encouraging, and praying for him.

My heart is heavy for my former student, but I was thankful that I actually heard the Spirit and obeyed.

Father, thank you for your great love for us.  Jesus, thank you for your example of a life lived in step with the Spirit.  Holy Spirit, thank you for speaking to me.  Open my ears and eyes to hear you and see you even more.  I love you.

For the praise of His glory

Ephesians 1:11‭-‬14 NIV

In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession—to the praise of his glory.

Twice Paul explains that our purpose is to praise His glory.  I was meditating on this yesterday as I drove to work.  I want to fulfill my purpose; I want to praise His glory.  And I don't think that is accomplished by simply saying, "God I praise your glory."  I assume that it is fulfilled both implicitly and explicitly.

Earlier this week, I was on the phone with another professor, and I asked him if he had any other questions that I could help with.  He jokingly asked, "What is the meaning of life?". I jokingly answered, "42".  And then I realized the opportunity to share something sincere, so I said something like, "No, I think you have God-given gifts, skills, and talents that you can use to help people."   I don't think my answer was entirely inaccurate, but I walked away from that conversation feeling like I shorted the answer.  It was incomplete.  After reading Ephesians 1 yesterday, I wish I had told him that he was made for a wonderful and personal relationship with his good spiritual Father through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.  Hopefully, the Holy Spirit will give me another chance.

Father, you are good, and your way of redeeming us is amazing.  I want to praise your glory.  Please show me how to do that better.  I love you.