At our Sunday morning gathering, we were singing the song "Brokenness Aside" by All Sons & Daughters, and Brandi told me that she felt like my work stress/anxiety was "caught up in words tangle in lies". She pointed out that while it is true that I need to produce some deliverables in my work (e.g., publications, grants, graduating students, etc), my motivation and self-perspective has been sabotaged by fear and lies. Brandi mentioned how I have previously struggled with impostor syndrome, and I am glad to say that, I think the Lord has delivered me from that, and I now feel like a legitimate professor.
However, I have recently been acutely aware that I have had a chronic struggle with work stress and/or anxiety. At the end of our gathering, Caleb asked me to pray for him about anxiety, and as I was listening to the Lord, I felt the incredible depth of the Father's love for Caleb. It was very impressive to me. And I saw Caleb as a strong man, with no fear.
I want that fearless life for myself. I want to fear the Lord and nothing else. In my work, I am trying to focus more on the process (inputs) and leave the responsibility of the products/deliverables (outputs) to the Lord.
Heavenly Father, thank you for your great love and acceptance. Thank you for peace and joy. Thank you for helping me be aware of what distracts/entangles me, and thank you for giving me a vision of freedom and abundant life. I want to walk with you in abundant life. I love you, and I pray in the name of Jesus.
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