feeling like a failure

Wow.  Almost two weeks without writing a blog.  Not good.  Haven't been so consistent in my prayer walking, either.

Rhett's first birthday party was pretty good.  Invited our home group.  It was good.

Well, my attempt at planning a three-day quasi-camping trip was a failure.  Didn't click the "confirm" button on the camping cabin reservation, so we only spent one night in a motel instead of two nights in a cabin.  Got to White Sands on Monday and played for about an hour and a half and then it started raining.  Hiking trail that we drove an hour out of the way for on Tuesday was closed.  

God sort of answered one of my prayers.  Rhett slept through the night several nights ago.  But he hasn't since then.  I guess I need to be more specific in my prayers.

Heavenly Father, I am tired.  I'm tired of being tired.  I want to believe that you are good and that you have great things in store, but it is tough to believe that when so many people in the Scriptures experienced so much pain.  I just want to know the objective function that I should be optimizing.  Obviously, it is not pleasure or pain, but some mysterious combination.  Maybe righteousness?  Glory?  It would be really cool to see you do something nice.  I wish I was more mature than that.  I don't want to sound like the Pharisees asking Jesus for a sign to prove that He was from God.  But I would like to see you move the way you did with Jesus and the Apostles.  They healed people, cast out demons, and preached the Kingdom.  Wouldn't it be cool if we were doing what Jesus did?  Holy Spirit, please make something happen.  I love you, and I pray in the name of Jesus.