On Tuesday evening, I had the privilege of praying with John and Celia, who have been trained in sozo inner healing ministry. From my experience, it is basically guided prayer.
I had two main breakthroughs. The first was related to my sense of obligation to constantly be working. By asking Holy Spirit where it came from, He showed me that I associated my importance with being responsible for work duties on the family farm when I was a child. And this Tuesday evening, I embraced a relationship with the Heavenly Father in which He is proud of me because I am His son, not because of my work productivity. My main identity is a son, not a worker. Workers have quotas, but sons have privileges. John and Celia asked me where I saw the Father (on His throne, etc.), and I saw a man sitting on a couch, so John and Celia encouraged me to sit down next to Him. He put His arm around me and smiled at me the way I smile at my daughter when she climbs up in my lap for no other reason than to be with me. The next morning, quite unusually, Katelyn was already awake when I woke up to go downstairs for my meditation time, so she sat with me on the couch as I read and prayed. I believe that He was confirming what I had seen Tuesday evening.
The second breakthrough was regarding perfectionism, which works its way out as criticism for just about everything. I asked God where I got the perfectionism mindset, and something Celia said helped me realize that it came from my dad's grandmother who always corrected everyone in grammar and manners. John and Celia encouraged me to give my whole box of perfectionism to God and ask Him what He wants to give me to replace it. I felt God say joy, peace, hope, rest, and laughter. Between turning over being a workaholic and perfectionist, a much lighter life.
And since Lent started on Wednesday, I committed to give up criticism (indefinitely, but really focusing on letting it go this Lent).
Father, thank you for these breakthroughs. Jesus, thank you for making a way. Holy Spirit, thank you for your power. I am excited about my new way of life. I love you.
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