peace, 2020

My word for 2020 was peace.  It was an interesting choice for 2020, especially considering the coronavirus/COVID pandemic.  But it has been much deeper than that.  In June of 2019, Brandi and I participated in an enneagram personality workshop with our church, and I discovered that I was a perfectionist.  To some extent, I already knew this, but with subsequent personality coaching with a lady from our church, I began to realize how my personality type had some strong negative impacts on my self, my wife, and my children.   At the end of February, I had a wonderful Sozo prayer time with John and Celia and prayed through breaking free from workaholism and perfectionism.  Unfortunately, in mid-July, I had a hard conversation with my dad, but the Lord used it to catalyze some deeper investigation into my soul and personality. In mid-September, I had my first experience with prayer in the courts of Heaven, and I felt a breakthrough from the grip of anger. In mid-November, I started counseling, and I have made some good progress on beginning to let go of expecting the world to be perfect.   My counselor has helped me start trying to let others live life on God's terms, not mine.  On a run around Crosbyton last week, I realized that I can give peace away, not because it originates with me, but because I carry the Shepherd.  I think these are progressive steps, like peeling layers of an onion.  I thank the Lord for tilling the soil of my heart to remove these rocks that have been limiting the growth and fruitfulness of His word in my life.  It is also impressive to me how the progress in my own inner peace circles back to allowing more joy (my word for 2019) to flow through me.

The Lord has also been working on my paradigm of parenting, shifting from a perspective of an owner to a steward.  While I do think a biological father has an enormous responsibility and privilege of projecting the character of the Heavenly Father to his children, I am growing in my appreciation of my role as a spiritual brother to my children.  I want to be faithful to shepherd my children toward Christ. As I was reading the prophecy in Malachi 4 about Elijah returning to turn the hearts of parents to their children and visa versa, the thought occurred to me, I want to be intentional to seek revival in our home.

Father, thank you for patiently loving me.  Jesus, thank you for shepherding me, and thank you for being the King of Peace.  Holy Spirit, thank you for growing your fruit of peace in me.  I love you.