Not everything that happens is God's will

One of the most important lessons that we can learn from Job is that not everything that happens is God's will.  And this, we should be careful not to blame God for everything that happens.

"He is not a mere mortal like me that I might answer him, that we might confront each other in court.  If only there were someone to mediate between us, someone to bring us together,  someone to remove God's rod from me, so that his terror would frighten me no more.  Then I would speak up without fear of him, but as it now stands with me, I cannot.

Job 9:32‭-‬35 NIV

Indeed, we do have a mediator, and He has COMPLETELY satisfied the judgement of God.  There is no judgement remaining.  Jesus drank the whole cup to the dregs.

Father, thank you for being a good father.  Jesus, thank you for removing the judgement rod from me.  Holy Spirit, help me see the circumstances of my life from your perspective.  I love you.

Breaking free from workaholism and perfectionism

On Tuesday evening, I had the privilege of praying with John and Celia, who have been trained in sozo inner healing ministry.  From my experience, it is basically guided prayer.

I had two main breakthroughs.  The first was related to my sense of obligation to constantly be working.  By asking Holy Spirit where it came from, He showed me that I associated my importance with being responsible for work duties on the family farm when I was a child.  And this Tuesday evening, I embraced a relationship with the Heavenly Father in which He is proud of me because I am His son, not because of my work productivity.  My main identity is a son, not a worker.  Workers have quotas, but sons have privileges.  John and Celia asked me where I saw the Father (on His throne, etc.), and I saw a man sitting on a couch, so John and Celia encouraged me to sit down next to Him.  He put His arm around me and smiled at me the way I smile at my daughter when she climbs up in my lap for no other reason than to be with me.  The next morning, quite unusually, Katelyn was already awake when I woke up to go downstairs for my meditation time, so she sat with me on the couch as I read and prayed.  I believe that He was confirming what I had seen Tuesday evening.

The second breakthrough was regarding perfectionism, which works its way out as criticism for just about everything.  I asked God where I got the perfectionism mindset, and something Celia said helped me realize that it came from my dad's grandmother who always corrected everyone in grammar and manners.  John and Celia encouraged me to give my whole box of perfectionism to God and ask Him what He wants to give me to replace it.  I felt God say joy, peace, hope, rest, and laughter.  Between turning over being a workaholic and perfectionist, a much lighter life.

And since Lent started on Wednesday, I committed to give up criticism (indefinitely, but really focusing on letting it go this Lent).

Father, thank you for these breakthroughs.  Jesus, thank you for making a way.  Holy Spirit, thank you for your power.  I am excited about my new way of life.  I love you.

Pharaoh's freewill

From what I read, it wasn't until the sixth plague that the Scripture says that God hardened Pharaoh's heart.  For the first five plagues, perhaps Pharaoh exercised his own freewill and chose to harden his heart against Yahweh.

Father, please help me yield to you.  Holy Spirit, help me humble myself to your leadership.  Jesus, I want to honor your lordship.  I love you.

Yahweh told us to call Him by His name (Yahweh)

When Moses approached the burning bush, God called him by name:

Ex. 3:4 When the [Yahweh] saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, "Moses! Moses!"
And Moses said, "Here I am."

And Moses got a pretty good clue of Who was talking to him:

5 "Do not come any closer," God said. "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground." 6 Then he said, "I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob." At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God.

But after God told Moses to go tell Pharoah to let the Israelites leave Egypt, Moses asked who he should say was sending him, and God replied with a personal name:

13 Moses said to God, "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?"
14 God said to Moses, "I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I am has sent me to you.'"
15 God also said to Moses, "Say to the Israelites, '[Yahweh], the God of your fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you.'
"This is my name forever,
    the name you shall call me
    from generation to generation.
16 "Go, assemble the elders of Israel and say to them, '[Yahweh], the God of your fathers—the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob—appeared to me ...

Unfortunately, many Bible translators fell into the same trap that the Israelites did, thinking that we should honor God by not speaking His name.  But in verse 15, He EXPLICITLY told us that His name FOREVER is Yahweh, and this is what we SHALL CALL Him from generation to generation.  So, then why did/do Bible translators substitute "the LORD" for the Tetragrammaton, Yahweh?  If we really want to rever and honor God, then shouldn't we obey what He commanded?

Yahweh, thank you for being personal with us.  Thank you for giving us a personal name for us to call you.  Thank you for calling me by name.  Help me be an example for others to see and experience a personal relationship with you.  I love you.

Silence

If anyone had the right to be critical, it was Jesus before He was crucified.  He was falsely accused in an unfair trial.

Isaiah 53:7 NIV

He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.

It wasn't that Jesus never said anything critical, it was that He was obedient to only speak in harmony with the Father and the Holy Spirit, and He was silent when He was not supposed to speak.

On Sunday, our church prayed for Brandi and me at the end of the gathering.  Celia gave Brandi a word about her mentoring young ladies in the royalty of being soiritual princesses, daughters of the King.  Later, Brandon approached me privately and said that he had a picture of me with a steel plate riveted over my mouth and asked me if that meant anything.  I told him that I have been trying to not be so critical, and that I think I need to be resolved as steel to not speak critical comments that I think.  I had actually set this as one of my goals for the 21 day fast in January, but I didn't do that very well.   So, Brandon challenged me to one week of silence on critical comments.  I believe that this is the first step to breakthrough on changing the way I think.

Father, thank you for your kindness, love, and patience.  Jesus, thank you for your example.  Holy Spirit, thank you for your power.  I love you.

Awareness of the older brother patterns

In Jesus's parable of the prodigal son, the older brother was both critical/judgemental and bitter from a life motivated by duty/obligation.  

I want to be delivered from both of these.

Father, I believe that you want me to walk in freedom.  Jesus, thank you for making a way for freedom.  Holy Spirit, lead me.  I love you.

Sacrifice and breakthrough

I recently heard Bill Johnson say, "Your kids will know what is important to you by what you are willing to sacrifice for."  Later, I was thinking, when my kids stand before the Lord on Judgment Day, will they thank Him for what I sacrificed for.

Brandi and I completed a 21 day Daniel Fast (vegan and no sugar, caffeine, or alcohol) this past Sunday.  We had several days mixed in of fasting from all food.  The longest I went was about 44 hours, fasting all day on a Thursday and breaking fast with Friday dinner.  Brandi fasted all day Saturday and Sunday morning before we ended the fast together with our church in a gathering at our home.

On Sunday, we hosted our church gathering at our home.  We resumed our discussion of Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, picking up with Chapter 6.  A sister opened up and shared her story, and we prayed over her.  Then we prayed for three more people, one of whom was delivered from some sort of evil affliction and then baptized by the Holy Spirit. It was a breakthrough that we have been praying for and wanting to see for years.  I hope it is a new era of ministry and culture for us.

As I was reflecting on these breakthroughs, I felt like somehow the fasting was related.  Certainly, not that we had somehow earned the breakthrough by fasting, but that by fasting, we had focused our attention on the Lord so that we were more sensitive to His leading and better able to leverage our gifts in partnership with Him.

Father, thank you for these breakthroughs.  Jesus, you are the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.  Holy Spirit, thank you for your presence and power.  We love you.