Marriage Retreat - Sacramento Mountains

This past weekend, Brandi and I had the privilege of spending a couple of days at a camp in the beautiful Sacramento Mountains, near Cloudcroft.  (I am so thankful to my parents for watching our boys for us!)

Roger and Yvette gave us a framework for thinking about intimacy in our marriage (friendship, spiritual, and physical).  On Friday evening, we completed an assessment of these three aspects of intimacy of our marriage.  Brandi and I agreed on most of the assessment, but I interpreted one question quite differently than Brandi, and thus, I came across as very critical.  This was a good lesson for me to think about being careful in communication and being sensitive to how I say what I say.

On Saturday, Roger and Yvette led us through identifying emotional hurts and "unpacking our baggage" or "emptying our emotional cups".  We started with emotional hurts from our spouse, and we continued with emotional hurts from our childhood.  For me, this was a marathon of a day; I am not used to being aware of my emotional state, and certainly not accustom to processing through emotional pain.  But it was good.  Brandi and I talked through some friction points in our marriage, and we were united in wanting to foster a culture in our children of being emotionally and spiritually aware through daily times of reflection.

On Sunday morning, we discussed several typically ways of thinking that can inadvertently result in emotionally hurting our spouse.  For example, I have a tendency to polarize (i.e., make "black and white") many situations that are not moral issues (e.g., the "correct" way to load the dishwasher).  I need to be careful that I don't impose my efficiency/efficacy framework on my spouse or children.

Heavenly Father, thank you for the opportunity to retreat from our routine and reflect on the condition of our souls and the state of our marriage.  Thank you for the healing and reform that you brought to us, and I pray that we will continue to enjoy your peace and love in our family.  I love you, and I pray in the name of Jesus.