conjugating discipleship

Mark 8:34 NIV

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.

What is translated as "whoever wants to be my disciple" is more literally "if anyone desires after me to come" in Greek.  The Greek word for "disciple" is not actually there, but implicitly, Jesus is explaining what it means to be His disciple.  And while Jesus spoke this instruction in third person, as a disciple of Jesus, I want to personalize what He spoke.

First, I must deny myself.  The verb is aorist tense, imperative mood, middle voice (AMM).  Based on what I have read about Greek verb conjugation, the aorist tense is a simple summary and is not necessarily emphasizing time (past, present, future) or type of action (progressive, ongoing, completed).  I think it is interesting that Jesus first commanded me to deny myself.  I think this denial of self is explained in more detail in Romans 7-8; I obey by setting my mind on the Spirit, not the flesh.

Second, I must pick up my cross.  The verb is aorist imperative active (AMA).  I can't be passive; I have to actively persevere through persecution in following Jesus.  Because Christ has accomplished atonement for us through His work on His cross, my cross represents worldly persecution for me obeying Christ and death to my flesh. My work on my cross is not atoning, but persevering.  I think it is implicit that I have to continue carrying my cross after I picked it up.

Third, and I must continually and actively chase after Christ.  The verb is present imperative active (PMA).  Right now, in this moment - in every moment - I must choose to find Him and stay with Him.  I want to move with Him.  I want to go where He goes, do what He does, and say what He says.

Heavenly Father, thank you for sending Christ to ransom us and show us the way to you.  Jesus, thank you for saving me and teaching me.  Holy Spirit, help me obey Christ.  I want to deny myself, take up my cross, and follow Jesus.  I love you, and I ask in the name of Jesus.