Striving versus being

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power.

1 Corinthians 4:20 NIV

When Peter and Rebekah came over about a week an a half ago, near the end of the conversation, they said that it was not true that I am an illegitimate disciple until the Holy Spirit demonstrates miracles through me.  I am a growing disciple.

When the Brownwood team prayed over me, one of them said that I was "striving" (negative connotation) to see miracles and that God was going to make them happen "easily".  I interpreted that as meaning that since miracles are from the Lord, I only need to partner with the compassionate love of God and be obedient, and Holy Spirit will do the miracles. 

I want regular testimonies of miraculous words from the Lord, healings, and deliverance because that is how Jesus lived.  I am a disciple of Jesus, and I will not give up.  I will look like Jesus, sooner or later.

Father, please make it sooner rather than later.  Holy Spirit, what is the hold up?  Please sanctify me more.  I love you.