utilitarian perspective

Phil 1

OK, so it's not exactly utilitarianism, but I usually see my faith and my experience with Christ centered on me and for my benefit instead of centered on Christ and advancing His Church:

²⁰ For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die. ²¹ For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. ²² But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ. So I really don't know which is better. ²³I'm torn between two desires: I long to go and be with Christ, which would be far better for me. ²⁴ But for your sakes, it is better that I continue to live. ²⁵ Knowing this, I am convinced that I will remain alive so I can continue to help all of you grow and experience the joy of your faith. ... ²⁹ For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for him. ³⁰ We are in this struggle together. You have seen my struggle in the past, and you know that I am still in the midst of it.

Heavenly Father, please help me see my faith and my experience of you as a part of your plan where the focus is on Christ, not on me.  Lord Jesus, please help me see myself as your servant instead of you as my servant.  Lord, please help me see my life and death as beneficial to you and your Church, and help me live that way.  I love you, Lord.  I pray in the name of Jesus Christ.