My heart is definitely too hard to take it in:
But Jesus spoke to them at once. "Don't be afraid," he said. "Take courage! I am here!" 51 Then he climbed into the boat, and the wind stopped. They were totally amazed, 52 for they still didn't understand the significance of the miracle of the loaves. Their hearts were too hard to take it in.
If Jesus saw that they were in trouble, then why did He intend to go past them? That seems crazy to me. I feel like I am rowing hard. I feel like my wife is rowing hard and struggling with sleep deprivation. And I feel like Jesus is just walking past us. Why won't he just get in the dang boat?
Heavenly Father, would you please help us? How long do we have to keep rowing hard and asking for help before you give us a break. Seriously. A little rest would go a long way. Please. I don't have any difficulty believing that you can solve problems and work miracles, I don't know if I believe that you want to solve my problems. Please help us. I love you, and I pray in the name of Jesus.
A note from my good friend Jayson that I want to record here:
ReplyDeleteYou are right that Mark 6:48 gives the impression that Jesus on shore from some distance away "saw" the disciples struggling against the wind in the middle of the lake (v.47, Mark alone, by the way, and certainly with some supernatural sight, especially given the storm) and went out to them, apparently with some sort of intention of going by them. (I might also point out that Jesus arguably waited until the middle of the night, too, since His "seeing" them could be construed with the "evening" reference of v.47 and not the "fourth watch of the night" reference in v.48, which seems to be when He went out to them, though not every commentator understands the time references that way, and, even if they are taken that way, I suppose Jesus walking out to where they were could have taken some time.) More to your question, while the NIV of v.48 simply says "He was about to pass by them", the Greek would seem to indicate some intent, determination, or purpose to Jesus's action: "He meant to pass by them" (ESV). (The phrase is unique to Mark, and the Greek has some difficulty, reasonably translated as "began to pass by" or "made as though He would pass by", though I am reluctant to have Jesus feign something, at least not without a purpose.) To be sure, we do not know why and so can only note for sure what the text says and, I suppose for better or worse, speculate as to why. While one can think of God passing by both Moses in Exodus 33:22 and 34:6 and Elijah in 1 Kings 19:11-13 with the intention of revealing Himself to them in various ways (somewhat weather related ways in both cases), others suggest Jesus wanted to test their faith, perhaps by being near enough to offer help but not doing so unless they sought His help, in other words, He wanted the disciples to invite Him into the boat, though Mark does not tell us explicitly that they ever did so. (I think I would at least reject the idea that Jesus intended to go by because He wanted to "surprise" them on the other side, especially since He would not have had to physically walk across the lake to do that but simply could have walked around or "transported" Himself over without risking ruining the "surprise" by them seeing Him walking across the lake.)
I appreciate that you and Brandi might feel that Jesus is passing you both by at this time, but in addition to the consolation I offered on the phone I might also gently and lovingly challenge you to consider another aspect of this text. The disciples were failing to recognize God revealing Himself in Jesus, even though no doubt they were wishing that He was with them in the boat, and at times our eyes can be equally blind and our hearts equally hard. We might not see him behind what Martin Luther calls the "masks" he uses, the suffering He permits us to face. (The text literally says the disciples were being put to the test in rowing [basanzio in v.48].) In Christ, God the Father has already calmed the stormy sea of our broken relationship with Him, and, ultimately, He brings us to the distant shore of eternity with HIm. Inside the ark of His Church we are safe in the meantime, no matter how the tempest rages. I pray you and your family find peace there.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but sometimes we have put ourselves into situations wheree we have caused our harsh, difficult circumstances. Let me give you a little story.
ReplyDeleteIt started out as a minor thing. I had lost a lot of weight, and desired to keep it off. I began to eat a little more and exercise a little less. Over the course of a few weeks, I had gained 5 pounds. "It's okay," I theorized. I'll be able to lose it. I began to pray, "Lord, please help me be more disciplined. Help me lose this weight." But, when the temptations arose - birthday dinners, holiday celebrations - I succumbed to them. Oh there were small successes along the way, but I succumbed much more often than I resisted.
After a few months, the 5 pounds had become 10. There was always a reason to overeat at mealtime - after all, when you go to all-you-can-eat buffet, you'd better get your money's worth - and even those reasons for a mid-afternoon snack - I'm feeling weak, I need fuel to think clearly... Each year, I seemed to be gaining another 10 pounds.
Now, 30 pounds heavier, I began to pray, "Lord, make me 30 pounds lighter." I know that He is capable of doing this. Why won't He? Day after day, I pray that the excess pounds will be gone, but they are not. Is my faith just not strong enough? The fact is, I have made bad decisions which put myself into this situation. I am going to have to make good decisions to get myself out. God will be there to strengthen me, each day.
Child rearing is difficult. Lots of children don't sleep through the night. Some of mine did, some didn't. As a small child, I did not sleep through the night - still don't. But, my parents taught me that I was not allowed to wake them during the night. And, that's what I taught my children. It's not easy. Maybe it sounds cruel. But it is the ONLY way for you and Brandi to get that sleep you need.
It will take me a lot of time to lose weight, now that it has taken 7 years to pack on those 30 pounds. But, it can be accomplished. For me, it means making good decisions, all day long. It can't be something that I do part of the day, and give up when the temptations become great. I must make a decision to GET IT DONE.
Getting your children to not wake you during the night will take a lot of time and MUCH discipline on your part. You cannot ever give in, or you have to start over. Not easy, but it is possible. And, God is there to help you through it all.