a matter of the heart

Matthew 12:22-50

 ³³ "A tree is identified by its fruit. If a tree is good, its fruit will be good. If a tree is bad, its fruit will be bad. ³⁴ You brood of snakes! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. ³⁵ A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. ³⁶ And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak. ³⁷ The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you."

Sometimes I don't feel like I have a good heart.  I don't feel like I love God that much.  I feel like I'm caught in a rat-race, and while I'm running and running and running - I don't feel like I'm really going anywhere.  I feel like I should be making a bigger, more observable contribution to the Kingdom.

So, what do you do when you don't "feel" like your heart is good and you really love God?  What if you feel like your heart is mixed with kind words and cutting words? 

Heavenly Father, please purify my heart.  God, I want to love you with all of my heart, mind, soul, and strength, and I want to love my neighbor as myself.  Lord, please purify my heart so that I will seek you.  Lord Jesus, please grow your character and mind in me.  Holy Spirit, please produce in me the fruit of the spirit.  Please help me crucify myself so that I will be resurrected in the life of Christ.  I ask in the name of Jesus Christ.  Amen.