integrity

Psalm 119:1-8, Proverbs 29

Since my original goal in taking the book of Psalms one chapter at a time was to slow down, meditate on them, and soak them in, I realized that I should really slow down in Psalm 119 instead of blazing through it in a single day.  This is hard for me because I am such a type A personality - I would rather continue with my schedule and be pleased with myself for sticking to the plan.  But the Lord is helping me be more flexible, which allows for more growth, which is ultimately preferred over adherence to an arbitrary schedule.  So, I'm going to take Psalm 119 one letter-stanza (eight verses) at a time, and the two most challenging verses for me this morning are:

 ² Joyful are those who obey his laws
      and search for him with all their hearts. ...
 ⁵ Oh, that my actions would consistently
      reflect your decrees!

If we were to plot sanctification (ordinate) versus time (abscissa), verses 2a and 6 correspond to the ordinate value, whereas verse 2b corresponds to the slope of the line.  (For the chemical engineers, we could nondimensionalize the ordinate with the Righteousness of Christ and the abscissa by your lifespan.)  Yes, God is concerned with how sanctified we are - that is, the extent to which we behave like Christ.  But, realistically, we all need to get better.  Which brings us to verse 2b.  I think God cares more about the rate (slope) of our growth towards Him.  But, to be honest, I don't feel like I am searching for Him with all my heart.  If I was, wouldn't I be praying, fasting, reading the Word and spiritual books, and fellowshipping with the saints - all day, every day?

Heavenly Father, please don't give up on me.  Lord, I need your grace.  Please turn my heart toward you, and help me search for you with all my heart.  Lord, I don't know what that looks like.  Please help me.  Lord, please mold me into the image of Christ.  And please do so quickly.  I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, the Obedient Son.  Amen.